I will occasionally offer something from a guest writer, and am pleased to share the incredible power of this first one.
In this time of the Rising Feminine, more and more women are telling their stories, stories that need to be told. Telling them breaks the painful silence; calls would-be perpetrators to think twice; and opens the opportunity for greater healing.
I have learned to do a wonderful kind of trauma release work, and know the power of it to help do just what Tanah did – leave it behind and move forward in beauty. No longer should our lives and happiness be ruined by the negative actions of an abuser, at any level. Healing is available.
Tell your stories – they need to be heard. Then you can tell the new and deeper story – of your own healing into the light and joy which can be found in the darkness.
In light and beauty, Brooke
I have done a U turn at the Pearly Gates several times in my life. Have I lived so that I can share these stories? Perhaps I am the one I came to inspire. Nevertheless, I have begun to write them down, and have a sense they are meant to be shared. This story stands out the most.
The place, Alaska, a place I still hold as one of the most beautiful places on Earth. I was very young and was on a college break adventure. One night I accepted a ride home with a co-worker I barely knew. He did not take me home, rather to remote forested area. It was winter, very cold and the area was covered with snow and bright moonlight.
There in his car I was beaten and assaulted. Through the haze of events there was a moment when time stood still. Through the window I saw a branch, covered in icy crystals. They were a bright dance of light twinkling in the moonlight. It looked alive and so incredibly beautiful. It felt like mine, for me. I fell into the abyss of such splendor. I felt no fear, only peace. I was immersed in light…I was going there. This beauty could not be taken from me. I knew he could not let me live to tell the tale…but he did.
He dumped me, broken, bruised and disoriented. I did tell the story. There was a trial. It was headline news. There were threats. I had round the clock State Trooper bodyguards. He was a member of the mighty Teamsters Union. My case would be a landmark. There had never been a rape conviction before. My case was solid, and they told me I could not lose. He was found innocent of all charges.
All these years later what do I remember most? The branch.
Years of healing followed, searching for wisdom and the ‘why’. I was not alone that night. The ‘branch’ moment carried me through more dark times in my life. In retrospect, there was always a branch. I am still here. I still drink deeply from beauty and kindness. They feed my soul, my body responds, my life reflects them. I slowly let the story go, my need to understand it. I realized it is in the past and can no longer hurt me. I refocused my attention on not just surviving, but thriving. I was created in love, beauty and kindness. It cannot be taken from me. By whatever name, I realized the branch is who I am.
I have not forgotten the trauma of what happened, it has forgotten me.
My love and blessings to all of you, all of your stories. You are my family. I pray you health and joy.
Tanah traveled the world, eventually returning to her roots – founding a wilderness school, retreat and Buffalo Preserve, based on honor and respect for all life.